Are you a college graduate “going back home” to live for a time? Have you wondered how your growing independence will mesh with the established family routine? Here are some tips that will help you navigate through these sometimes turbulent waters.

Mia graduated with honors. While excited about launching her new career in the business world, she wondered how she would manage to rent an apartment, purchase appropriate work attire, and make payments on her college loans. After considering her options, she determined it would be beneficial for her to live at home while establishing her career.

Even though she had made the decision, Mia still had questions and concerns. How would her lifestyle mesh with family lifestyle (and rules)? How would her work and social life fit into family policies? What would her relationship with younger siblings look like? What would be the expectations and responsibilities for household chores?

With her list of questions, Mia made an appointment to meet with her college mentor. Together they developed a plan to facilitate conversations between Mia and her parents on her next trip home.
1. Find employment. Mia achieved this goal when she was hired by her hometown school system as an elementary teacher. With her signed contract, and knowing what her salary would be, Mia needed to discuss with her parents what her financial responsibility would be.

2. Develop a budget. Knowing her weakness in developing and sticking to a budget, Mia asked her dad to help her develop a realistic one that would allow her to pay college loans, start a savings plan, and share in the household expenses. Together they determined a monthly amount to cover rent, utilities, and food.

3. Share household responsibilities. Mia sat down with her mother to talk about ways she could help with household duties and still have time for work and friends. After some give-and-take, they agreed to a plan and set a time to review it at the end of the first month.

4. Respect household rules. Mia thought this discussion would be more effective on neutral ground, so she met her parents at their favorite ice cream store. Mia’s parents acknowledged she had been independent for five years and must balance her need for continued independence with their need to have rules and established routines for the younger siblings. Together they set some foundational guidelines and agreed to monitor and adjust them as needed.